Mad World
by Rya3SaberVltar
Summary: Christmas is around the corner and Morgana doesn't have the one person she wants to spend time with. Merlin/Morgana, Arthur/Gwen (little). Christmas Mordern Merlin. My first one-shot. Want a idea, go to Youtube and type in Mad World Merlin/Morgana Modern. Make sure you choose sleepyheadzz's.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or Morgana. Not even this story line, full credit goes to YouTube member: **_**sleepyheadzz**_** for coming up with this story. **

**I suggest you watch this video to get the summary and the environment Merlin and Morgana are in **

Type in Mad World Merlin/Morgana Modern

**Enjoy this fanfic. **

_Mad World_

It was a dark cold day in the house, but it has been like that for the whole month. The mail slot swooshed open as the mail came through the door. A girl with dark curly hair headed over to the fallen mail with an expression of worry, her jaded eyes shined with fear and sorrow when she looked into the pile of mail. She slowly picked up the mail, feeling the cold floor underneath her bare feet. She slowly looked through the mail to only see bills and some advertisements for pointless things. She sighed in relief when she saw that there was no letter about her husband's death. Once she realized what she was thinking, her throat swelled with tears.

She slowly walked towards the couch, throws the mail on to the coffee table, and curled up into a ball on the couch. She began to cry, for a month she has been alone and crying. For a month she had no idea where her husband was.

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Grass and twigs were breaking under a man's foot as he walked through some grassland with multiply rocks around him. He has been walking for a month without having a clue on where he was going. He just kept moving, following an unexplained feeling in his chest. It felt like he knew where he was going, and yet he didn't. He was lost, but he never gave up.

He stopped for a while and got down to his knees and dropped the backpack that he was carrying. He opened the bag and pulled out a piece of bread as well as a wallet. He took a bit out of the bread and looked through the wallet for the hundredth time. There in the front was a driver's license with a picture of a black haired man with blue eyes and big ears. The photo looked a lot like him minus the beard that he had now and longer hair. The license's also showed a name, Merlin Emrys.

He believed it to be his name, but it didn't seem to matter to him. He hasn't been in any cities, towns or homes in the last month, so he couldn't go to some laptop or computer and find out if it's really him. He couldn't find out who he was, he couldn't remember anything before the month of his walking. He tried and tried to remember, but the one thing he remembers is a vivid image of a raven haired girl with jaded eyes. Every time he saw her, only one word came to mind. _Morgana._

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Morgana crying calmed down but her tears were still falling from her eyes. She began to remember Merlin. His goofy smile that made her heart flutter, his big ears that listened to her problems, and his deep blue eyes that always drowned her, lost within his gaze.

He always made her smile, no matter what he did. Now every time she thought of him would only cause heart aches. Every time she sees him, river of tears would flow down her face, giving her a salty taste in her mouth when they spilled in.

Nobody was like Merlin. _IS…nobody IS like Merlin_. She corrected herself. Nobody has found his body yet, meaning he could still be alive. Only the fear that Merlin was dead frightens Morgana to the point of breaking. If she learned that her lover was dead she would just fall apart, maybe even die from a broken heart. The only thing that kept her going was the unborn child growing within her stomach. Until then, all she could do was pray for her husbands return and the safe-guard of there child.

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Merlin has finished the piece of bread he was eating, realizing that it was the last one. Merlin sighed, now he had to kill in order to survive which for some odd reason didn't bother Merlin as much as he thought. Merlin was still on his knees and he counted in his thoughts.

No matter how many times he tried, all he can remember was images of "Morgana." He remembers seeing her at a table, looking down at her food in some diner. He had a feeling that this was the first time he seen her. He can't remember anything else from that, only that she was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.

Merlin looked to his left to see the land that was ahead. It was so vast that it seemed impossible for any mere human to survive. The land would force a man to giving up on there dreams and desires. This however did not affect Merlin.

Merlin's memories was far stronger then any dream and desire. He had to find this girl in his memories. She was the key to who he was, and she was the love of his life.

Merlin couldn't explain why he was thinking like that; to a woman he didn't know. But it didn't feel wrong when he said it. It felt like it was the only thing that made sense in his life. He had to keep moving, for her.

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Morgana began to remember the day when the police came by and told her of the accident. It was a day she had prayed that would never happen

_It was a normal day despite of the sun shinning brighter then ever. She was having tea with Gwen, her best friend, having a conversation over Gwen's 4 mouth pregnancy, which Morgana congratulated her on so many times. The two were talking about random things until a knock echoed off the door. _

_Morgana walked towards the door with a smile on her face. Once she opens the door, she saw two military officers waiting on her front porch. Fear ran through her being when she saw there stern faces. _

"_Mrs. Emrys"_

_Morgana nodded at the officer. "That's me…what is this about."_

"_Can we come in?" Morgana nodded and stepped aside to let the two in. "Is there a place were you can sit down?" Morgana pointed towards the living room couch where Gwen was already there. "Then please have a seat." Morgana obeyed with fear and confusions in her eyes, Gwen's eyes matched Morgana's. Once she sat down the tallest officer took a deep breath and spoke the words that had changed Morgana's life. "I'm sorry to say this, but we found your husbands car off the road. The complete front of it is destroyed, and your husband was nowhere in sight." _

_Disbelief filled Morgana's heart. She shook her head. "No…that can't be." _

"_I'm sorry Mrs. Emrys," The shorter officer said, "We are looking for your husband right now. We won't let one of our own behind." _

_Morgana didn't say anything only cover her mouth as tears began to from. Thoughts of Merlin's death ran through her like a bullet and it hurt her so much. Gwen embraced her, scared that she may fall apart and she was right. Morgana leaned into Gwen and continue to silently cry. The officers saw that it was time to leave. "We'll show our own way out."_

_As they were about to exit, Morgana said to them in a rusty voice, "Please…find my husband." The tall one nodded and the two left. _

3 weeks of searching and they didn't find a body. They had to call off the search and declare that he was dead. This only caused more misfortune to Morgana. There was so much that she couldn't even go back to work with her father, Uther, as the Business Manager. Gwen came by with her husband, slash Morgana's brother, Arthur. They tried to cheer her up and nothing worked. Even Merlin's mates, Lancelot, Gwaine, and Percival, tried to help, take her out to bars, at first, and help her mind wonder. But everything reminded her of Merlin, so they all came by often to check on her. She has been getting better, but they are scared of what she would do.

Morgana slowly looked outside to see that darkness is coming. She sighed as she got up and lighted some candles. Something her and Merlin made a tradition of. Every special night they would light candles and just enjoy there smells and Morgana still carried that tradition. Tears still run down her cheeks as she remembered the promises they made to each other, there first kiss, and his proposal within the aroma.

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As Merlin walk through the valley in the night he was suddenly hit with flashes of light. Every night he began to slowly remember that night. It appeared to be cars and one suddenly rammed into his side and nothing but more flashes and an image of Morgana appeared. He believes that's why he can only remember her. She was his last thought. The phrase, "Life will flash before your eyes as death approaches." All he saw was Morgana and that made him believe that she was his life. That only makes him more motivated to find her. He moved on until his legs no longer could hold him. He slowly ascended to the ground and placed his backpack on the ground. Using it as a pillow, he lays down on the hard floor and closed his eyes. He listened to nature as more images flashed before his eyes.

This time it was Morgana with a white dress and velvet over her head. She looked back at him with a lovely smile, her teeth pure white. As she turned around, her smile only grew as she laughed and clapped at something he could not hear. Merlin opened his eyes, expecting to see her lay by his side and it a way he did. He saw Morgana again. This time in front of a church, her hair was filled with snowflakes and her skin glowing, giving her the appearance of an angel. But her eyes were the most drowning effect of her. It only lasted for a second and it brought tears to Merlin's face that he may never see her again. He was so confused, yet he fully understood.

He looked up to notice that it was morning already. _Another quick and restless night, _Merlin thought as he got up and was about to sling his backpack over his shoulder when he saw something he never though he would see. A road was right in front of him and it lead into a forest. He smiled at the thought of getting closer civilization. He knew he will have the answers soon enough. With energy and excitement running thorough his veins he threw his backpack on and walked down the road. Knowing he was close.

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Morgana awoken to the sight of an old picture hanging on the wall, it was her and Merlin leaning close together at a business party she had with her coworkers and brother. It was the first time they official meet since Arthur's best-mate, Lancelot, dragged him from the military base. When she saw him there she remembered him as the boy who walked by her coffee shop where she took a break from work and Alvarr, ex-boyfriend. She looked up to see a young man with mess hair and kind eyes. She smiled at him for no reason and he only blushed and walked off. She wanted to meet him, but she did just broke up with a womanizer at the time, so she let it be.

A year later he walks in with Arthur's invite and joined the party. She thought he would ruin it like many of Arthur's friends would, but out of them all he was the most mature and serious of them. He was still goofy but he knew when to do it. She began to talk to him and learned he had a doctor's degree within medicine and joined the military to with the injured. Then they started to talk about random things and had fun, forgetting about the others. At the end, they exchanged numbers and just started to hang out more often.

That was two years ago and Morgana would never change a thing about it. The time they spent in the coffee shop, in the theaters, in art, in festivals. Morgana knew that Merlin would never leave her or trade her in for someone else. Even when there ex's came by he was still loyal to her and her alone. She smiled at the thought as tears still came down her face. It was two months ago when she got married to him and spent a month in America, seeing the great city New York. They choose NY because of it's vast collection of cultures, which is what brought them together.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard someone knock on the door. She slowly got up and opened the door. It was Gwen and Arthur. "Hey." Morgana just nodded. Seeing the fresh tears, Gwen wanted to hug her sister-in-law, but Arthur beat her to it, plus her inborn child didn't like being touched. Not lying.

"Come on, there going to light up the tree in town square." Morgana had forgotten that it would be Christmas tomorrow. Of course she didn't pay attention to anything anymore. "It's tradition that we go there every year Morgana. Will you come?" She only nodded and turned around to change into something warmer. Arthur sighed at his sisters actions and turned to Gwen. She only made a sad smile as she grabs her husband's hands.

"She's getting better Arthur."

"But still…" Gwen only nodded and waited for Morgana's return.

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He arrived in a strange but familiar town. Most of the buildings were made out of stone and not many people were out on the streets. It was dark and Christmas lights have lightened the streets. He couldn't help but smile at this, and then he heard singing as he got closer to the center. There he saw a large tree coved with lights with people singing around it. Merlin only watched as he saw someone leave the group, walking away with tears down her cheeks. Merlin instally remembered that face. The one face he could only remember. Without a second wasted, he shouted the only name he knew.

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She could not handle the emotions she was feeling. Only more memories of Merlin came when they singed the song, it reminder her of when he came with her and joined her tradition as well as tell her that this would have been there first Christmas as a married couple. "I can't do this." She said as she turned around and pushed her way out of the crowd, ignoring her brother's calls. She was haft way to the car till she heard her name across the plain. Non-belief ran through her as she heard it, she turned to the source and saw the truth.

Right there a few yards away was her husband. Same clothes on, longer hair and a beard, but it was still him. It was Merlin. "Merlin," she whispered his name, feeling on her tongue again. It brought joy back as she slowly walked to him as he did. Not sure if it was real or not, but belief began to grow in them both and the ran to each other. She jumped into his open arms and laughed as he spines her around. She cried as he put her down and looked deep into his eyes. "You're here." She only smiled as his fingers glided across her cheek, the warm feeling returning to her. She missed him so much.

"It's really you." He's smile grew as he cupped her face as she returned the smile. Without a second more, there lips crashed and warmth filled the empty voids they once had. They were there own world, not noticing Arthur and Gwen walking up to them.

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A year has passed and Merlin still does not remember who he was. He doesn't remember his friends, his military training, or his doctor's degree. He doesn't remember his mom or his father. Even so, he doesn't care. He had Morgana by his side, and his friends didn't give up on making new memories with him. But the one thing he never forgot, was the little bundle in his arms, sleeping to a lullaby his wife is singing. He smiled at her, as she looked lovingly into there sons eyes. "Sleep tight Mordred," Merlin smiled, he wouldn't change anything in this world.

**Strange I know, but it's a short story it's not meant to make sense. Plus this was my first project for Merlin. Hope you guys enjoyed this.**


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